Onesipkim!

Onesipkim is your one stop shop for all things adorable and fashionably delicious. Located on Green St. in Pasadena, this intimately situated gem is sure to carry something that will have you saying, "Hellooo Loverrrr!" Take for example the designs of Rachel Pally. Uh, can you say absolutely adorable? Light, airy, comfy, dress 'em up, dress 'em down, and (my personal favorite) flattering for all kinds of body types is how Rachel Pally's designs roll. If you think it's time to bring out your summertime sexy (trust me it is!) I recommend the slinky one sleeve a line dress in sea foam green. Pair it with some strappy sandals and a matching clutch, and go get yourself a night out with the girls! Stop by Onesipkim Monday thru Saturday 11-7 and Sunday from 12-5. We'll keep the light on in the dressing room for you ;-.)

Good Answer, Good Answer!!!

I watched Family Feud tonight. It's one of those mindless game shows that I like to play along with. Tonight I realized a peculiar phenomenon about Family Feud. When the host asks each family member a question, the family member has three seconds to answer. Sometimes the pressure of the game is too much for the contestant and they end up saying the first dumb thing that comes to their minds regardless of how horribly nonsensical it is. Tonight for example, the host asked on of the members of the Johnson family (actual name changed to protect the idiotic) "Top 5 answers on the board, name something a bald person doesn't need." Suzi Johnson, nervous and under a lot of pressure considering her family already had two strikes, answers..."Hair." Really Suzy? You think that one thing a bald person doesn't need is hair?

What makes this even more hysterical, or pathetic depending on how you look at it, is that after Suzy said "hair" her family clapped for her and kindly said, "Good answer, good answer" the way all families do when another family member on family feud gives a dumb answer. In order to say that a dumb answer is a "good answer" the supportive family members must temporarily suspend everything they know about logic, reason, language, culture, history, and reality in order to sincerely say "Good answer" and actually mean it!

A few hours later, I listened to the Rudy Giuliani speech at the Republican National Convention. I don't really know why I do this to myself. Maybe I needed a blog topic, or maybe I needed to abuse myself for 15 minutes, I don't know. Either way, I felt like I was watching the Family Feud all over again. Except this time Rudy took Suzy's place, and 70,000 Republicans became the all accepting family members who proverbially, and literally said, "GOOD ANSWER, GOOD ANSWER" to every dumb thing that came out of Giuliani's stupid mouth. Between his support of trickle down economics to his fear based critique of ISLAMIC terrorists (thanks for the Islamic emphasis Rude) the whole fam damily cheered in support, because they temporarily suspended everything they knew about logic, reason, language, culture, history, AND reality all in the name of politics.

All I kept thinking to myself is, "Are these people for real????" Are they seriously clapping because Rudy Giuliani AGAIN inserted the phrase "NINE ELEVEN"??? I swear this is the stuff Family Guy is made of.

People of America, stop saying "GOOD ANSWER, GOOD ANSWER!" to politicians who don't make any sense! Trickle down economics has never worked, and 9-11 has nothing to do with the war in Iraq. These are the only two issues I remember from Giuliani's speech because my brain will not allow me to recall any thing else. I believe it is a defense mechanism that prevents me from going into convulsions over this madness.

It's not every day that something comes along that makes me second guess my decision to remain childless. Designer, Emily Johnson Spinozzi, creator of "Dolce Bambino" managed to do just that by launching a line of crocheted, family friendly MUST HAVES in the midst of raising 3 boys under the age of 4. Emily Johnson Spinozzi is her name, and making mommy and baby stuff fashionable and chic is her game. If you have any baby showers, new arrivals or a need to pamper yourself, a girlfriend/sister/aunt/mother/cousin or baby, check out her website.

www.dolcebambino.etsy.com

Tell her Danielle sent you! (It won't get you a discount or anything, the stuff is SO reasonably priced as it is!!)

My personal favorite is the diaper clutch. I just ordered two of them.

How do you like YOUR Coffey??? Black or in denial?

On Monday nights there is nothing good on tv. Case in point the country version of American Idol called Nashville Star hosted by Billy Ray Cyrus. I am not a country fan, but occasionally I can bear it. I can get into artists like Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, and the Dixie Chicks. For the most part though,
country music strikes me as too twangy, pseudo Christian, or nauseatingly patriotic. So in a way I don't really have the background or right to critique country music, but I am going to anyway.

Tonight I saw a contestant who certainly challenged the stereotypical look of a country singer. Coffey, (pronounced coff-AY, emphasis on the second syllable)is the first young black man to sing country music that I have ever seen. He is very attractive and by appearance fits that younger, hot, country music scene. I mean who wouldn't get a little weak in the knees over any strapping young buck in a pair of wrangler jeans and a cowboy hat...HAWT DAMN! Anyway, a black man singing country music, as you can imagine, is rare. Intrigued, I continued to watch, in hopes of being wooed, pleasantly surprised, or at the very least, entertained.

Wow. Not only did Coffey shatter my hopes of what could be, he sang an original song that almost made my dinner come up.

His entire song sounded like a mixture of rap and country, and he didn't seem to do either genre justice. The timing was forced, and the words were cliche'. The worst part was that he was asserting himself as a "country boy" by denouncing things often associated with hip-hop. Now let me clarify, some of my favorite artists criticize (constructively and creatively so) hip-hop: The Roots, Common, Lauryn Hill, and Kanye West for example, but the thing is, they are GOOD at it, and they are not just throwing some bandwagon rhetoric around in order to degrade an art form that is often misunderstood or downright disregarded most of the time. On the contrary, I think that their critique, paired with their music strives to preserve lyricism, creativity, and beats that inspire a range of emotion, thus validating a true American art form.

Part of the reason they pull off their critique, besides the quality and brilliance behind their craft, is because they ARE hip-hop artists. But Coffey was not good at criticizing the more materialistic side of rap culture because he has not "earned the right to be heard." I suspect that Coffey has probably spent the better part of his life fighting off prejudice and stereotypes that he felt did not relate to him which is understandable, but it doesn't excuse crappy country rap.

To make matters worse, this song was an effort for Coffey to express who he is as a "Southern Man." He criticizes "bling," & "Escalades," and proudly boasted of his "pick up truck with the horns on the hood."

I too am turned off by "bling, Tims, and Rims" kind of stuff, but Coffey singing about it like he did reminded me of how when I was little I could fight my brother all I wanted, but if someone not related to us picked on him, oh hell no, I was not having that. In the same regard, Common, The Roots, etc have a more legitimate point of departure that gives them license to criticize hip hop/rap culture that doesn't have much depth. Coffey? Hmmm, I don't think so.

I think it is great when people get to a place where they realize that he or she is not bound by a stereotype. But it really seemed that Coffey not only wanted to battle the stereotype, he wanted to blast those who fit it, and associate with those who more likely than not, want nothing to do with him.

Honestly, I feel for this guy, I really do. If he makes it in this competition (which I don't think he will because he just isn't that great of a singer) what audience does he plan to reach? What radio station is going to play his music? Are there black people out there who are interested in joining in on the black bashing? Or does Coffey hope to attract country folk looking for a black country singer who will make them feel justified in their prejudice mindsets. I guess time will tell.

Maybe this whole experience will be a good lesson for Coffey, which I prefer black, with a little sugar ;-.)

Why? WHY? WHYYYY? on the 4th of July

I know it's been over a week since the 4th of July (and even much longer since I blogged here) but I seriously had to get my thoughts together before writing this post.

On the 4th of July, my best friend and I went to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena to watch the fireworks, eat some roasted corn dipped in mayonnaise, and celebrate the end of colonial rule, because that's what good Americans do on the 4th of July. I always look forward to this day, not because of the hokey blind patriotism bullshit, but more because I like the idea of freedom, and I LOVE fireworks. My friend and I got there in time to check out the various vendors, food trucks, and entertainment. Lots of people were milling around, tailgating, eating, having a good time. Kids were lined up to get funnel cakes, balloons, ice cream, face painting, and deadly assault weapons. (Insert loud screeching brakes for affect here). Yes, I said deadly assault weapons. The army set up a booth at the fairgrounds with deadly assault weapons for people to "try out." Granted they were not loaded or functional by any means (I hope) but they were the real deal.

When I first caught sight of the booth I saw only adults "trying them out." But then I noticed parents taking their small children to the weapons, and then taking snapshots of their children holding the weapons.

Number one, this is crazy.

Number two, this is CRAZZZZYYY!

Number three, this is as sad as it crazy.

We live in a culture that has no reservation whatsoever over killing people in the name of "freedom." We have no reservation whatsoever in establishing the worth of one's life (an American's) over any other who we (however erroneous) deem to be a threat to us. And worst of all, we have little to no reservation in passing on our violent, barbaric, ways to our children. This photo was taken at the Rose Bowl. After I took it, I desperately wanted to make eye contact with someone who understood or saw the scenario the way I did. I wanted validation from someone that I wasn't crazy. But there was no one to reassure me, only people who kept asking if I was "next" in line to hold a gun.

I wanted to yell at the soldier standing there. I wanted to ask him if he's ever killed a person like my friend who was sent to Iraq who estimates killing 47 men all under or around the age of 18. Even though my friend held to a "kill or be killed" philosophy, he has never rejoiced over those deaths, and I greatly respect him for that. In the moment he faced a life or death situation and he did what he could to survive, and that meant killing other human beings who likely got caught up in a complicated web of nationalism and their own version of "protecting one's own."

Killing is never easy. Sometimes it is necessary or better yet, instinctual for self preservation, but it should never be seen as something recreational. The kids I saw handling these weapons were too young to understand the implications of holding such weapons. They seemed to be awestruck by what they were looking at, which disturbed me a great deal. You know, I hear people talk all the time about the stuff kids face today like drugs, violence in school, and a host of other things that negatively impact youth. But what about the violent messages that are taught through our foreign policies, as well as our wartime propaganda? Why don't we ever talk about the powerful forces of THOSE influences? Why, WHY WHHHHYYY do we do this to our kids and then wonder why they are so screwed up??

Cravin Game Night in L.A.

Today I went over a friend's house for a Memorial day BBQ. It was actually my friends boyfriend who hosted the party. At first it was the usual, burgers, beer, chips, sitting in the sun, chatting with new friends, an overall real good time. Then as the sun went down it started getting chilly so we moved the party inside. Now mind you, my friend's friends are a bunch of techy minded filmmakers in the making so most of the conversation centered around new lenses, digital blah bitty blah, video games, and avatars. In other words, the convo was kind-a-boring.

When we moved into the living room it ended up that we all sat around the room, almost in a circle chiming in intermittently with awkward small talk while the guys tried to out wit each other. It was so strange! I ended up suggesting that we play a game. One guy curiously asked, "What kind of game?" To which I replied, "I don't know like catch phrase, or taboo or something." The group of people sitting in that room looked at me as if I recommended we eat each other's poop. Then the same guy asked me if I was serious. I said, "Yes I am serious, my family plays games all the time. They can be fun." I don't know if I became uncool when I suggested we play a game or when I admitted to having fun with my family, but the room literally became quiet and awkward. A group of people looked at me simultaneously with expressions that read, "Oh GAWD, please don't make us play some lame game of baldershash!!!" I couldn't help but respond in frustration by saying, "SERIOUSLY??? Are you all sooooooo cool that a good old fashioned group game is beneath you?" Gosh, sometimes I really can't stand L.A. The same guy was still expressing a strange sense of confusion that I would even suggest such a thing let alone be serious about it. Frankly I knew the host of the party likely did not have any of the games I was talking about, but at this point the topic was a matter of principal.

Then it got me thinking, has my generation forgotten how to have good ol' communal fun? What do we do for fun anymore? How wrapped up are we in cynicism and coolness that we can't be seen playing a board game? It's just so sad.

My family is about as crazy and dysfunctional as they come, but somehow, they taught me well how to have a smashing good time on a small budget and without a lot of fluff. Whether it was playing "pick up stix" with my grandma, spades with my uncle, to homemade pictionary with a crew of aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends, we always seemed to have a great time doing things that a lot of people outside of my family don't do anymore. What will these people do when they have kids???? Oy vei!

Those times shaped me in so many ways. They built my confidence, taught me how to be a world class smack talker, and helped me learn some social skills, which these techy nerds could use a few of. I remember going to the coffee shop back home with my best friend in high school and playing cards in the storefront seats for hours. Those were some really cool times in our friendship. Do people ever make time for that kind of stuff anymore? What is wrong with us?

This has all made me realize that for the first time in a long time, I miss home, the unanimous willingness to find fun and humor in less "cool" things, and the type of people who know how to "make a night" of a good game of spoons.

If you can relate to any of this, and you are in the L.A. area, hit me up. I have a deck of cards burning a hole in my pocket.

Be Your Own BFF

Two days ago I sought the help of a trusted friend as I struggled with a decision to contact my ex. I had a seemingly legitimate reason I swear! Earlier that day I received a stupid chain text message on my phone from a number I didn't recognize. I sent a reply text and asked who it was. Turns out it was my ex's daughter. Great. Not only did the the text inform me that it was national "make out" week, it also warned me that if I did not send it to everyone in my contacts list that I would remain single for four years. I REALLY did not need to receive this message from my ex boyfriend's tween-age daughter. After I realized it was her I froze with uncertainty, not having a clue how to respond. What the heck? Should I text her back? Ignore her? What??? I ended up sending her a message that said "oh hey, didn't recognize the number, hope you are well!" To which she replied, "Ya." I left it at that. Afterwards, I contemplated letting my ex know that the whole exchange took place. I worried that somewhere down the road he'd hear that I texted her, and I really didn't want him to think that I was a crazy stalker trying to get to him through his daughter. As I began drafting the email, I made the call to my friend to get a second opinion about my plans. She emphatically insisted that I not send the email. She reminded me that I did not owe him an explanation and challenged me to think about why I was really contacting him. Her advice was very helpful and right on the money, so I ended up deleting the email, confidently knowing that whatever happens on my ex's end is of no concern to me.

Two days later, that same friend called to tell me that not only had she contacted her lowlife, scum of the earth, loser, two timing, sexist, manipulative, ex lover who she dated while he had a girlfriend, she also went out to lunch with him. This piece of crap literally asked her if she would be okay being the "other woman" again because he missed having her in his life yet did not want to hurt the current girlfriend who he plans on marrying. -Again, pig. My friend, despite being beautiful, kind, thoughtful, funny, and just plain wonderful, sincerely struggles to cut this guy off, because lets face it, being single in this oft cruel world is hard. It is so easy to fall back into the most destructive relationships because the are familiar, and they feel good in some (albeit sick and dysfunctional) ways.

After she told me, I made sure not to judge her because I have been in that boat. We usually judge ourselves harshly enough when we do stupid shit like that. I knew she was sharing her actions with me because she was unhappy about them. She didn't need me telling her how stupid she was being. She was beating herself up enough. I tried my best to encourage her to stay strong and to not get side tracked by this slight digression. But most importantly, I reminded her of the valuable advice she gave me two measely days before!

We both kind of chuckled over the whole thing because in my weak moments of stupidity I too have simultaneously given friends kick ass advice that for some reason or another I could not follow myself. WHY IS THAT? Why do we know what others should do, hell we even know what we should do, yet we can never take our own advice? I know that saying, "It's easier said than done" but that explanation doesn't cut it for me. There has to be something far deeper that is to blame for this phenomenon.

Is it possible that we can't follow our own advice because if we could we would be less inclined to depend on one another (in a good way?) Imagine if everyone followed their own advice all the time. Can you imagine how many cell phone bills would drastically go down, how many "Dear Abby" columns would cease, and how many relationship experts would be out of jobs? It would be mayhem! I think it is possible that our dependence on supportive networks, friends, family, etc is a necessary component of a healthy life, BUT where is the balance? I wonder sometimes what it would take to achieve a healthy balance between knowing when to take the advice of others, when to take our own advice, and realizing we are sabotaging ourselves when we choose "none of the above."

Through this tough love, heart to heart conversation with my friend we realized that in addition to sharing great advice with one another, we have come to understand that we really need to learn how to listen to ourselves more. I asked her last night to tell herself what to do as if she was talking to me. In other words, I told her to think of herself as her own best friend. You wouldn't make excuses for your best friend, you wouldn't overlook or minimize your best friends ignoramus of an ex, so why would you when it comes to yourself? If I could be my own BFF I would probably take much better care of myself, and I'd probably make much wiser decisions especially in regards to relationships. Just a thought.